I'll start off with the ten commandments. Really. Who can top those?
The rest are my own additional rules based on observations and experience. They are completely objective and totally relate to true life. Or not:
1) Advil before caffeine. Always.
2) A four year old has to go potty at least once every four hours. No matter what she says.
3) Forget the will. Always let your kids know where you keep the extra toilet paper.
4) Walking a half mile everyday in your dress shoes to work will negatively impact your ability to wear cute shoes in the future.
5) Sunscreen. Always.
6) You're always a better parent before you have kids.
7) There are just some things you don't need to know. Period.
8) Give your kids the grace you usually save for other people's kids.
9) The best smell in the world is my husband's shirt. (OK. Not a rule. But still true.)
10) Don't buy anything off the internet after 10:00 pm. Trust me.
11) Try everything at least once. Except #10.
12) It's YOU'RE, people! YOU+ARE=YOU'RE
13) Take your camera everywhere.
14) Choose fun over vanity. Every time.
15) If you won't say it to their face, don't say it behind their back.
16) Everyone looks good in leggings. If their shirt is long enough.
17) Young people have a hard time empathizing. Old people have a hard time sympathizing.
18) Oatmeal cookies are breakfast food.
19) So is fruit pizza.
20) You don't have to do it again, but finish what you've already started.
21) Balance your own checkbook.
And there is all the wisdom I can muster up at this hour. After this week. I'm sure there are more rules. Maybe you have some I missed? Let me know.